my tribe blog

I actually have been trying to put these feelings into words for a few weeks. I finally did somehow today on my tribe blog, so I'm recording them here, mostly for my own reference. And who knows maybe they will help someone else too...


I have had some pain lately from a hurt and I've tried to stay positive and always think kind thoughts when the feelings raise up and look at me. I remember that the person that showed these feelings to me is just a lonely sad person that really doesn't know how to communicate very well, and this person is good and I really do love this person. I'm learning to be better because of this how to communicate very clearly, listen, be kind, be fun, it is a good lesson for me!

This also reminds me of what an exceptional human being my husband is because he has the amazing ability to step back from hurt and insults and to see them for what they are and just move on, not holding on. Most people only know Robert's silly party side and don't really know what kind of person he really is! He is great! I strive to be more like him...thanks Rob! I have a lot of friends at varying levels of closeness, I feel really blessed to have them from internet friends, to people I see very frequently in physical life, I'm very social and love this and am also grateful for this blessing. Being open to so many people opens me up to a myriad of circumstances...very enlightening at times!

So one of my favorite spiritual teachers is Thich Nhat Hahn and his books are strewn all about my house. This morning I picked up his book Anger, and this is what I read... so beautiful!

"Turning Garbage Into Flowers

The organic gardener does not think of throwing away the garbage. She know that she needs the garbage. She is capable of transforming the garbage into compost, so that the compost can turn into lettuce, cucumbers, radishes, and flowers again. As a practitioner, you are a kind of gardener, an organic gardener.

Anger and love are both of an organic nature, and that means they both can change. Love can be transformed into hate. You know this very well. Many of us begin a relationship with great love, very intense love. So intense that we believe that, without our partner, we cannot survive. Yet if we do not practice mindfulness, it takes only one or two years for our love to be transformed into hatred. Then, in our partner's presence we have the opposite feeling, we feel terrible. It becomes impossible to live together anymore, so divorce is the only way [my words here - or the break in a friendship]. Love has been transformed into hatred; our flower has become garbage. But with the energy of mindfulness, you can look into the garbage and say, "I am not afraid. I am capable of transforming the garbage back into love."

If you see elements of garbage in you, like fear, despair, and hatred, don't panic. As a good organic gardener, a good practitioner, you can face this: "I recognize that there is garbage in me. I am going to transform this garbage into nourishing compost that can make love reappear."