Healing is slow

I keep trying to write and tell about all the crazy and fun things that continue to go on around me and I get dragged into, but I don't seem interested in much.
I went to Tribal Fest last weekend and spent...sit down...$700! And on what? Ok some good stuff, but seriously I came home with 4 new pairs of pants! They are cute but seriously! If Robert reads this he will probably kill me. But he never reads my blog so I'm safe...for now anyway.
But I mean it, even with dancing every day and seeing all these great people. I made very little effort to say hello to anyone I should unless they were already in my path. I did almost NO networking and really would have been happier swimming the whole time. I did swim quite a bit the pool at the hotel was really nice the perfect temperature to just dive in.
We danced on Friday night for DJ Amar's pre party show, it was really nice. Then we danced first thing in the morning in our pajamas, I think the audience enjoyed it. They laughed and many people appreciated the beautiful piece, even with the fuzzy slippers, robes, cups of coffee, and hair rollers. It is a beautiful piece. Ayse directed it and choreographed it mostly but I will tell you there is quite a bit of my material in there and the other girls did stuff too. So I take pride in it too.
Then we danced the after party which was a really nice party. I got to see Queen Harish dance again, I had seen him a few weeks ago at the Moun of Tunis with Robert. He was really incredible. AND I got to see Samantha Riggs too! Then Zafira who I didn't know who they were, but they were really good. Those girls Samantha and Zafira all said I look so much like Ava Fleming, which yes I do, only without the rock hard abs (in my dreams I have them). I got a bit tipsy and had to sober up to drive the much tipsier Miss Heidi home...
We were supposed to dance improv with Amar on Sunday, but the 100 degree heat and my depression was getting the best of me by this point. I just wanted to go home. Luckily Ayse rode home with me and that was nice.
I'm still depressed about my mom, and I believe that is a natural process. If I didn't allow myself to feel sad now I'm sure it would come out in illness sometime later.
I must pack for my trip to Portland now. When I get home I hope to write a nice blog about my mother's life...it's just for me really. I don't expect anyone else will ever read it.
: )
here is a picture of my mom. We were in NYC for my son's graduation and in this picture she is with a gardener in Central Park, she loved flowers and she had asked him if she could have some of the tulip bulbs that he was weeding. He gave them to her and posed for a picture too. Sweet isn't it?