On a more serious note

While in Scotland I had an interesting conversation with a friend. He found it odd that Americans always say, "I'm Scottish" or "I'm Dutch" when they are Americans. I've heard this comment before from European friends, and from my perspective the answer is that unless our ancestory is native to the Americas we don't really feel right saying we are American. Many of us suffer from many generations' feeling of loss of a homeland, so we identify very strongly with our ethnic heritage. Many of our ancestors didn't necessarily move to America willingly but because it was the only place we had a chance to make a life. I'm sure I could go on for days on this subject and never really get to what I really want to say in this blog.

I feel that way a lot -disconnected from my heritage. Not only because I don't live in my ancestoral homeland but because I sort of don't have one. My great grandfathers left the Netherlands to find their fortunes in the then Dutch East Indies, now known as Indonesia. They intermarried and after a few generations of dominating in those islands were forced to return to the Netherlands...where they didn't really fit in any more. No longer looking like the Dutch, although much of their identity was Dutch. So there you have it. My parents returned to NL and had me there. In the land of tall blondes! haha!

Meandering still....ahh is why I blog?

Fast forward to myself years later as a young adult the first time I saw looms and spinning wheels! They were the most fascinating things I had ever seen! Making yarn, & fabric, then knitting & sewing were such satisfying activities to me and felt so natural they must be stem from some kind of genetic memory. And this belief must be a fairly common one because many people have asked me, " Is this something from your culture?" Looking at me scrutinizing what my heritage might be...I could almost see them thinking "she looks Native American, maybe that's why she weaves." And the questions would follow; "Are you an Indian?" I have to admit that since most of the other women I would meet who were interested in fibers were women of white European heritage, I wondered the same of them. Is it some connection to their ancestors? And then I would think how do I fit in this puzzle? Even though the Dutch and really all humans throughout history have also practiced the skills of making cloth. I am learning more about the rich heritage of fiber arts in Indonesia. The fabric in this photo is one of my prized possessions, a sarong that belonged to my grandmother that my mother was about to discard! It is pre-WWII and very delicate. The batik process is still practiced today in Indonesia, as are many other amazing fiber arts of spinning & weaving. I found this interesting website www.thelanguageofcloth.com/ with very interesting photos. I'm also reading a beautiful book Indonesian Textiles by Michael Hitchcock.

So fiber art truly is my heritage and my connection to my homelands.

Just the usual weekend for us!!!

THAT Photo is by Lee Corkett of Weathervane!!! He is awesome & I hope it's ok that I posted this picture because it doesn't have his watermark on it yet!!! But I can hardly contain my excitement about life in general and this photo has something to do with that!
people pictured from left to right are
Khani, me, Gigi (Lee's wife), Michaella, Heidi, & Nancy, in front of the Acacia Mansion in Ojai, technically behind the mansion actually!

This weekend was busy as usual, it started with Saturday morning a 2 hour practice with Heidi because Ayse was unable to do the show at the Acacia Mansion with us as planned. This practice was for She'enedra (I'm in 2 troupes the 2nd being Nataraja which I am director of, but I don't always dance with time being limited like it is). So even though our dance was basically going to be improv, there was a little fidgeting to be done to keep the dance interesting with only 2 bodies, one very tiny (me) one very tall (Heidi).

Then the usual day stuff and off to the show in beautiful Ojai at the even more beautiful Acacia Mansion.

BOTH Nataraja & She'enedra were slated to perform, I had quickly made Nataraja new costume parts in order to distinguish them as separate from our sister troupes of She' & Wild Routes (ayse's new group which used to be the Sisterhood). Lacy beige tie tops with stand up ruffle collars, & for the skirts side tied tribal minis short in front & longer in back tacked up at the sides to create a ruffly bum drape. Nataraja had done quite a bit of extra practice in preparation and this was the first time since Tribal Caravan that we had ALL of our new members dancing together. So this was something of a momentous event for Nataraja!

As we drove down the residential Ojai street looking at numbers, we came upon this gorgeous Spanish style 1904 mansion, it was obvious where we were supposed to be! No looking for numbers any more...just a parking place.

The inside of the manse was gorgeous! We dressed in a large parlor complete with antique furniture, mirrored vanities & large cockatoo.

Nataraja was scheduled fairly early in the set...I have video which I would love to post on You tube asap! They were great, even though at one point I knocked a dumbek over...it was so fun dancing with these girls!
I ran back inside the house after a very shorty solo and ripped of my clothes to change for She'enedra and to my surprise a man was in the room! Arrrgh! I hate it when dancers bring their husbands/boyfriends in the room without consideration for other dancers! I mean how unprofessional! What is a dressing room for anyway if not to change clothes? Anyway, I ducked behind a chair and finished changing my bra. And really, I'm hardly a prude, but I don't provide that kind of entertainment!

Heidi & I entered through the audience and danced our set. It felt kind of funny because most of the time I had one foot or the other in a hole. The dance surface was covered with Persian rugs and I think they did the best they could but it was very uneven. So I didn't dance as well as I felt I could but it was good. And we had fun!

Afterwards we had a photo session with Lee, drinks in the saloon (a made over garage with beautiful bar & pool table). We laughed and explored the mansion, watched the other lovely dancers and had a blast!

Oh yeah then there was Sunday...that is another post!

New Ink 4 ME!!!

I was planning on getting a knitting tattoo and I went down to have my consultation etc and planned it out etc and then my husband got laid off of his job! Arrrgh! He'll get a much better new job soon ya know (I'm being positive!) but obviously paying for a tattoo wasn't an essential expense so I was going to postpone it AND one of my dance students Khani who owns Zulu Tattoo actually organized for my students to give me the rest of the tattoo as a birthday gift! This was so sweet and thoughtful, I'm really touched by how kind all the students are. WoW!!
So I got my new "ink" on Tuesday...and the artist who did it, Misha said in a sheep voice... I'm "Baaaaad ass" hehe : )
Riley has named my tattoo Rosie the sheep!

Here's the Skyline's farms fleece

This is the Romney, uncombed & combed...I'm a horrible photographer...I know.

Kousa Dogwood Shawl

I'm am starting the Kousa Dogwood shawl from Knitting in America from Melanie Falick the pattern is by Selma Miriam. I bought some delicious tangerine Linen Mohair blend yarn from Louet the other day in Beverly Hills after my tattoo appointment! Yes I'm getting a new tattoo too!!! A knitting tattoo! I will post a picture of that when I get it.

Anyway, I don't understand how much yarn I need for this project it says..."63/4oz/25g balls (each approx 150yd/135m) of 2 ply fingering weight qiviut from Folknits....
There is no space between the 6 & the 3/4 so I'm unclear but I think it means 6 3/4 oz balls of yarn...which thank goodness I'm only using the yarn I am because I looked up the qiviut and it costs $63 a skein I kid you NOT!! I think I will have to go back and buy 2 more skeins of the yummy tangerine though, at a much more affordable $13.00

I guess I could use qiviut sometime if I spun my own...hmmmm

Anyway, I'm excited! I've never done counterpane, it doesn't look hard, just fun!


On another fibery note, I am combing out little tufts of romney wool that that I purchased from Skyline farms, it's very very pretty, I'm planning to dye it with natural dyes.

I hate Isms....WARNING I'm venting...

arrrgh!! I hate to complain publicly but WTF!! I had this experience which sent me into all kinds of feelings of inadequacy and insecurity about my age. It was asked that I not dance a particular gig regularly because of my age. Arrgh! ok! I also think this had to do with my ethnicity on top of it. These are such frustrating and painful issues. I am so ready to move away from L.A. right now and just be a fiber artist you don't even know.

BUT what can I do? I will move forward and just keep doing my work and working hard and teaching and choreographing and YES performing even if some people think I'm "old" It's such a state of mind I don't think of myself as old at all! And not only that, I don't think there is anything wrong with being old. I think it's lovely! I'm honored when I get the opportunity to learn from someone who has been around long enough to have experiences and insights that I haven't had yet. I don't care what age my friends are if they are 20 years younger or older than me! It has nothing to do with my joy in knowing them. I think this is all a materialistic, unnatural concept that we should only enjoy the company of other human beings who's only common denominator is their age! It's from school I believe. Back in the days when schools first started many children of different ages and ability levels shared the same class room. Now they are segregated by age and it's maybe just a necessity of dealing with so many human beings.
To bring it around isms? Ageism, sexism, racism...can you think of any more?
anyway, that's it! I'm done venting!

back from the U.k.

It was a whirlwind of a trip. I suppose I should have blogged along the way it would have been more interesting! But I'll try to back track on things a bit...

This photo is of Tsingani (Teresa & Bonnie) with me in the middle. We danced at a club in London called Darbucka that is just a great place to perform. Upstairs there is a restaurant, downstairs a club. It was a beautiful evening, I had great fun and danced a solo which is always a good self inflicted torture for me...

Eventually I will be able to post the video we are supposed to get one of the show as well as photos! I really hope there are some good ones!

We had a crazy time! About 6 days before we were going to leave the person who had promised to find us lodging backed out and BIG thanks to Bonnie for finding us some decent lodging at a fair price in a hotel. We were in a room right next to the hotel laundry so it did get a bit loud around 5 am when all the employees started work for the day. But it was clean, there was a big mirror, so we could practice & there were 3 beds! What more can I ask?

During the first night there while experiencing jet lag I discovered that I couldn't knit in the dark...actually I can knit in the dark most of the time...but it's too hard to find all 4 knitting needles in the dark!!

I will tell more about the trip later...right now I must go make peach jam!!